Why we don't meditate. And what to do about it.
Raise your hand if you or someone you know has said “I can’t mediate because my mind is too busy.”
This is a very common sentiment about meditation because most people have not been taught how to quiet the chaotic mind. A still mind is the antidote to stress and unease. In today’s world of digesting large amounts of distractions and information all day long, if we don’t intentionally build practices that calm the waters we will live in that overstimulated state that leads to stress, illness and dysfunction.
Although the practice of meditation is thousands of years old, research on its health benefits is relatively new, but promising. A research review published in JAMA Internal Medicine in January 2014 found meditation helpful for relieving anxiety, pain, and depression. For depression, meditation was about as effective as an antidepressant. Meditation is thought to work via its effects on the sympathetic nervous system, which increases heart rate, breathing, and blood pressure during times of stress. (1)
During the practice of meditation the body is healing itself and starting the repair of any damaged systems. Meditation makes us less reactive and more responsive to events in life — you learn to focus your attention and eliminate the stream of jumbled thoughts that crowd the mind and cause stress. This process results in enhanced physical and emotional well-being and teaches centeredness and inner peace. These benefits don't end when your meditation session is over. Meditation will carry you more calmly through your day, and has the potential to help you manage symptoms of certain medical conditions. As beneficial as meditation is, it isn't a replacement for lifestyle changes like eating healthier, managing your weight, and getting regular physical activity. Also it shouldn’t used in lieu of traditional medical treatment or as a reason to postpone seeing a health care provider about a medical issue. But it is a useful addition to your other treatments. (2)
Today’s world demands presence and connectedness 24/7 which leads our minds and bodies to be under extreme constant pressure. The stress and busyness that accompanies over scheduling leads to insomnia and other ailments; not giving your brain and body the chance to rest adequately leads – in some cases – to dire consequences. In addition, technology has been evolving faster than the human brain and body have learned to adapt, therefore we can not expect them to work like a machine and expect them to run in the same manner.
Before we dive into the ways to begin the practice of calming the mental chatter — let’s look at some other reasons that humans resist quieting the chaos.
Busy has been linked to importance. Therefore, stillness can feel less than – lazy, a waste of precious time… the “we can sleep when we’re dead” mentality keeps us in the busy cycles.
Busyness is distraction. Humans tend to create physical and mental activity to distract from stress, emotions, and self-reflection. This also includes passive busyness behaviors such as scrolling social media and consuming content on the internet. When this happens we are also distracting from the important stuff — from the truth and reality of our lives and circumstances. Settling down the waves in the mind creates the space for clarity and the ability to see the real issues reaching havoc in our psyche. This is often referred to as our Shadow Self or the part of the psyche that is repressed or unacknowledged. However, it is through looking at, understanding and honoring our shadow qualities that brings internal peace.
Depending on past patterns and behaviors, calm and quiet may feel foreign and/or very uncomfortable. Chaos can feel like a normal baseline if the nervous system hasn’t learned how to find calm and trust that it is safe. Therefore anything that is still is avoided.
Overuse of technology and overscheduling has a numbing affect. Which means when we step away from that chaotic cycle our emotions, traumas and triggers will start to present themselves for attention and healing. This is very uncomfortable if you aren’t practiced at processing them.
Resistance creates an illusion of control. Humans tend to resist life and other people. Resist the past and the future. Resist feelings, thoughts, and the shadow. Resist the truth of reality. And then delude themselves into thinking that resistance and control lead to freedom. This is incorrect — resistance and control create suffering.
Our culture doesn't recognize the very fundamental principle — that being rested and relaxed is the most important key to being creative and productive. We often don't give ourselves permission to take time out for meditation. And then when we do take the time, the mind and and body are in such high gear that we feel restless. Meditation requires that we experience the restlessness and let it unwind.
It is a big challenge to shift from a chaotic mind and nervous system to any sort of meditative practice, hence why humans find calming practices so frustrating – especially in the beginning. So begin by slowly adding in more daily activities and moments that gently quiet the mind. And remember a situation or circumstance will never change we resist the work.
Morning or nightly check-in (like your computer, take few moments to check in mentally before you start your day).
Move your body.
Read a few pages of a book.
Listen to relaxing music and/or specific frequencies for calm.
Deep clean or organize something.
Do a puzzle.
Create art or get crafty.
Cook.
Snuggle up with loved ones and furry friends.
Take a digital detox (minutes to days of less stimulation from technology).
Go out in nature. Take a walk. Get in the garden.
Take 10 big, deep, slow breaths.
Stream of consciousness journal session (set a timer for 5-10 minutes and write without overthinking until the timer goes off, no judgments or grammar police, just get the thoughts out of your mind and onto the page).
The more frequently we engage in slow, mindful activities the more comfortable our minds get in the slower, quiet moments. Our bodies start to recognize the stillness as rest and rejuvenation, it becomes safe to power down for a few moments. This is what opens the door to the deeper work of meditation and emotional healing.
In recent decades, researchers have been gaining insight into the benefits of practicing the ancient tradition of meditation. They’ve found that learning to pay attention to our current experiences and accept them without judgment might indeed help us to be happier. Studies to date suggest that mindfulness/meditation affects many aspects of our psychological well-being — improving our mood, increasing positive emotions, and decreasing anxiety, emotional reactivity, and job burnout. (3)
With the ultimate goal of homeostasis (a relatively stable life) the work is to add in moments to create space for the mind to settle and begin to limit dysfunctional habits, activities, substances, circumstances and environments that invoke or enhance the chaos. Then in the discomfort of the stillness, we can find more courage to self-reflect — to wander into the shadows and understand them as a part of our personal journey and lessons. Mental Health Specialists and deeper mediation practices can guide you through this process. It is the shadow of emotions, when repressed that cause the chaos and suffering to begin with. The more acknowledgement and illumination – the less chaos and control they hold.
Be willing to experiment, and you'll likely find out what types of meditation work best for you and what resonates with your path. Adapt meditation to your needs in the moment. Remember, there's no right way or wrong way to meditate. What matters is that meditation helps you reduce your stress and feel better overall. For more details on how to meditate and the benefits click here.
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