100 Days Alcohol Free

So before I dig into why I quit drinking and how things have changed over the past 100 days, I want to be clear that this is not a call for others to quit drinking (although I will recommended it to anyone who is curious). This is not a push for prohibition or a source of judgment for those who continue to drink. This is just MY experience, and seeing as it has affected my health -- physically, mentally, and spiritually, I thought sharing MY experience on MY health and wellness blog made perfect sense. I am sharing for those who might question their relationship with alcohol as I have. 

Why did I stop? This is a big question. The short answer is that I realized that I was using alcohol as a coping mechanism for life's stressors. It was my go-to when I felt I needed to "relax or unwind". Now, this was not an all-day, everyday kind of coping mechanism, but it was a regular tool in my toolbox. It was a part of my week, even more so a part of my weekend. It was the way I socialized and slowly became engrained in my habits over the past 15 years. The second part of this is that as a sufferer of depression, the alcohol, which is a depressant, was making things worse. This is like drinking coffee and then wondering why you can't sleep. It was affecting my every day life, as it was taking me, not 1 or 2 but 3 days to come back to my real self after drinking. Even knowing that the alcohol was adding to my depression the thought of completely removing it was incomprehensible. But my life and body were craving a break. I am a firm believer that when "bad" things happen it is actually being presented as a lesson to be learned. If you ignore the lesson you will just be presented with another version of that "bad" thing until you actually stop and take a look at why it is happening. So, I finally chose to look at the root of this problem and see what life would look like if I removed the source of inevitable ickiness.

Mind

When I first removed the alcohol it was constantly on my mind. It was hard to ignore as I was seeing it in every aspect of life. It is such a common thread in todays society. Everywhere you turn there is a song, an advertisement, a social media post, hell, Lululemon even has a beer now. It shows up in every social event, even fitness events, sometimes its the only part of the event. As a 30-something single woman, finding new ways to socialize has been a very big task and is a work in progress. 

As far as my state of mind, I am noticing the little things much more than previously. When you take out alcohol, and the time, money and energy that went along with it, you find you have a lot of extra time. That extra time has allowed me to notice the small beautiful things around me that I previously overlooked. This might seem like nothing but those little beautiful things add up to make my day a little brighter, even when life's throwing lemons. 

My depression has lessened significantly but unfortunately it is still here. I started doing research on other factors such as sleep and food and have made significant changes in hopes of further lessening my depressive states. I found Dr. Kelly Brogan's work to be of great help in this area.

I have had to create more routine and have been way more productive than in the recent past. Without hangovers and the dullness that alcohol can sometimes bring, I have been able to use the momentum gained from this change and parlay it into all sorts of other projects. I have some really cool ideas and I am excited to see where they lead. I have more time, energy and money for my to-do list/dream list. I have saved an additional $600 over the past 100 days :)

Body

Removal of alcohol has made me truly understand the value of self-care. Cravings for things that we are trying to steer clear from are less intense when you are taking care of yourself. When you consistently check in with how you feel and then take action to reduce stress and nourish your body, there is less urge to snap and say "damn it, just give me a cookie!!". I have however noticed the use of other things to get that comfort feeling. Things such as food, sugar, social media, coffee, and shopping. My eyes have been opened to how frequently I rely on stuff outside of me to deal with stress, loneliness, or just life in general. 

Starting my day with hot lemon water and a filling breakfast, instead of jumping right into the coffee and sugary treats, helps to keep blood sugars stable. Continued hydration, healthy meals, meditation, yoga/exercise and regular mind/body compass check-ins, help to keep the water from boiling over. Sleep, hydration and daily movement are now at the top of my priority list everyday. 

My skin has cleared and I have noticeably less cellulite!! I have not lost weight but many have commented that I "look skinny" or have asked how I lost so much weight. I am not sure if this is meant as a compliment or not, as it sometimes just feels like a concerned question with a kind of puppy dog face, but there are a handful of reasons why I have leaned out. First, I have not been lifting weights regularly over the past 2 months, resulting in a decrease in muscle mass, however yoga and long walks have been consistent. Secondly, I have been witnessing my diet and reducing grains, sugars and diary where I can, although they are all still present in some form. This has also led to reduced stomach issues and bloating.

The last factor is that I have removed all of the alcohol calories as well as the stellar food choices that tend to accompany the use of alcohol. I have started lifting again so we will see what happens over the next few weeks. Something else that I have noticed is intense sugar cravings. Because alcohol is primarily sugar, the removal has resulted in strong sugar cravings which I have been fulfilling with yogurt, dark chocolate, dates and kombucha throughout the week and ice cream on the weekends :)

Soul

This is where some really unexpected changes happened. Seeing as having wine after a stressful day was a regular activity, I was forced to find other ways to unwind. Baths and long walks are good but they do not have the same mind-numbing results as a glass or two of wine. This means that I always have to be PRESENT! Whoa. It has led me to examine every aspect of my life; my health and fitness, my business and life goals, my finances, my daily routines and habits, my social life, my friendship/relationships, my thoughts and my spiritual life, which was pretty lack luster before.

I feel more level headed and calm than ever before. I feel more confident in my decision making skills. I am able to create boundaries and say no to things that do not align with my goals or that I simply do not feel like doing. I understand now that I cannot expect to have the truly fulfilling life that I have always imagined living, if I am dulling my sensations, avoiding discomfort, and ignoring life's lessons. So, naked as a jay bird I am going to tackle another 100 days. Here's to 200!

Shout out to Holly Whitaker from Hipsobriety.com as she is why I made it this far. I also want to thank the friends and family members who have stuck by me through this and have continued to check in. Sometimes, a simple "How's it going?" can change someones day. 

"If you drive down the same dirt road day after day, your car will form ruts in the road that will limit your ability to maneuver. Unless you pay attention and become mindful, your car will default to the ruts, and in doing so, reinforce the prior patterns in the dirt. If you want to get out of the rut, you will need to consiously choose another path and reinforce this new path until it becomes your established way of traveling." - Deepak Chopra

Night time is the right time.

I am a night owl. I come alive at night, I get my best ideas at night and I am a grumpy monster in the mornings. I have been trying for years to "make" myself a morning person. I have all of these visions of early morning yoga sessions with hot lemon water, long walks with my dog and reading and writing, followed by a healthy breakfast and getting ready with tons of time to spare. In all reality, while I've made progress, I still only have time to make lemon water and toast, maybe meditate for 5 minutes and then run out the door to start my day.  

I am not sure why it took me so long to try a different method, but instead of placing all of my focus on forcing a morning routine, I have taken a step back and started focusing on my night time routine. The hopes are that with regular, quality sleep I will be able to get up more easily, allowing time for all the things I'd like to do before my day starts. 

A night time routine will be different for every one. Because I am single and only have a snoring, bed-hog of a bulldog to deal with, I can place a little more time and effort into my routine, but you do not have to do what I do. As with every habit change, it is best to start small so that you can gain some consistency and then add on if you want. So start with 10 minutes before and grow from there. 

The first step for my routine is an alarm on my phone at 8pm that alerts me to start wrapping up my day-to-day tasks and start the switch into night time mode. My lights out time is usually around 9/9:30pm. From the time that my alert sounds until then my routine looks something like this:

• Make dinner with a Relax and Unwind playlist playing in the background. 
• Clean kitchen. Tidy up house.
• Prepare for the next day - clothes, meals, etc. 
• Hot shower - w/ lavender oil infuser.
• I then move the infuser and music to the bedroom and dim the lights - Our bodies are designed to sleep in the dark, hence no TVs, phones or computers. 
• Brush teeth.
• Meditate or yoga for sleep - Try this 7 Minute Bedtime Yoga (I love me some Yoga with Adriene).
• SleepyTime, Nighty Night Tea or Golden Milk.
• Face and body lotion and essential oils - I put lavender and frankincense on my feet. 
• Set alarms and double check calendar.
• Horoscopes - This is my guilty pleasure. Instead of gossip about celebrities I read about real stars :)
• Sip tea and read or write until lights out. 

This routine will help to trigger your body for sleep. You cannot expect it to swiftly transition from a go-go-go, race through the day mentality and staring at a bright TV or computer screen, right into peaceful sleep. You have to train it to know when its time for rest. This will not only help you sleep better it is a form of stress relief and self care. It shows your body some love as you drift of to Neverland. 

"Let her sleep for when she wakes, she will move mountains." - Napoleon Bonaparte

More than a cup full of love.

I'm sure you've heard the quote, "You can't pour from an empty cup" or maybe "You can't love anyone until you love yourself"? Either way, as cheesy as it sounds the concept is important to reaching wellness goals, quite frankly, any goals. Self-care, self-love, pampering, listening to your body, whatever you want to call it, taking care of yourself is the only way that your life as a whole will make sense and make you happy. 

I have talked about this concept many times but its because its where I keep having to return to and is what really makes a difference in my everyday life. When I fall off my healthy habits pathway, in mind, body, or spirit, its always when I've neglected to check in with myself and make choices based on what I need, not what I want. This happens when I choose to push through and ignore feelings of frustration, stress, tiredness. When I choose to procrastinate and then cram to finish something before a deadline. When I stay up late, not getting the 7 hours of sleep that I know I need. These things happen all the time, however since I've made myself aware of them, they are happening less frequently. Now I choose to take a relaxing bubble bath when I am stressed or need to relax. I meditate and use deep breathing to bring my stress level down a notch, even if just one little notch. I no longer open a book, my phone or my laptop if its getting close to my "lights out" time at night. Individually these things are not miracle workers, but collectively and done on the regular they keep me from exploding from a days/weeks/months/years of pent up frustrations. 

I liken this to watching a pot of water on the stove. As the heat rises and stress increases, the water starts to boil. If you ignore it it will eventually boil over. If you can begin to notice what happens in your body before this boiling over point you can take a moment to use something from your Stress Less Tool Kit to help bring you back into a more balanced state. This tool kit is not a product Im selling (although... mental note), it is a kit you are going to start making for yourself. It should be filled with things you enjoy both big and small, that also bring you wellness and rejuvenation, not just calories and chemicals. 

Your kit will be different but here is what mine currently looks like:

• Multiple Herbal Tea Bags - Twinnings Peppermint & Yogi Kava Stress Relief.
• Essential Oils with relaxing and calming benefits - Chill Pill, Grapefruit, Wild Orange, Rosemary (Rosemary is my favorite).
• Lemon Balm Liquid Extract - I put a dropper full in water or tea to help calm the nervous system.
• Reflexology Ball - Right now I just use it under the ball of my foot to promote stress relief.
• An inspiring or funny book - Currently, Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg & Born Standing Up by Steve Martin 

I keep these physical items in a pretty zipper pouch and now even seeing the bag starts to relax me :)

Non-physical items in my tool kit are specific meditations and breathing exercises, taking a walk, going to water, reading outside, taking my shoes off and walking in grass, listening to podcasts or YouTube interviews, listening to my favorite music, cooking healthy meals, journaling, doing yoga, taking a nap, taking photos, writing, playing with my pups. The list continues to grow the more I look for healthy stress relievers. The only way to find these is to experiment by swapping the normal "unhealthy" stress reliever with something new. If you like it, add it to your tool kit. Very slowly you will start to crave these rejuvenation habits when you are feeling stressed out. Go ahead and get crazy. Instead of filling my cup full of self love, I am stocking up enough self love to fill up a well, a wellness well if you will ;)

Screw Your New Years Resolutions

So when I say "screw your New Years Resolutions" what I really mean is, well... screw your New Years Resolutions. Majority of the people who set them, including myself in the past, get all excited to start new each January. Its when my personal training schedule blows up and when yoga classes are busting at the seams. I am all about new beginnings and starting over to reach a goal, I actually think it is the most important part of achieving your goal but I think this mentality should come with you all year long. 

If you've done any reading on "successful" people you will find that many of them had to try over and over again to reach their goals. It took Thomas Edison 1000 times to create a successful light bulb. One thousand times!!! This simply means that it may take multiple tries to make your New Years goals become a reality. The problem is that after the 2-3 months that we allow ourselves to reach success, we give up and go back to our old ways, quite frankly because it's easier. Then, we start the cycle of beating ourselves up because we "can't ever stick to our plans", or we fill our heads with negative blubber when we realize we've completely fallen of our path. Even worse, we just push those emotions down and make excuses. 

I'm trying something new this year. I snagged this idea from one of my favorite podcasts and it is to simply pick a theme, one word to represent my life in the year 2017. I love picking themes for a yoga class so this was very easy to get excited about. My word for this year is FOUNDATION. There are a lot of new things happening in my life and in order for these wonderful things to continue to grow I must, I must, I must create a healthy, solid, built-to-last foundation. You can't build a high rise on a foundation designed to hold a single story building. 

I sat down with my journal and mapped out what a solid foundation would look like in each area of my life. I didn't get create crazy overwhelming plans or get ahead of myself. I simply made a blueprint for what I hope my foundation will look like this year in the following areas: Spirituality & Creativity, Body & Wellness, Relationships & Community, and Livelihood & Lifestyle.  What would a sturdy foundation look like if I could create it? I then put an alarm in my calendar to pop up monthly as a reminder to reflect and regroup if necessary. As long as I am moving towards creating a foundation in any of those areas I will consider it a win. Brick by brick I will build my high rise, except maybe my high rise will look like a beautiful lake house. 

How's 2017 so far?

I have a had a really up and down 2017 so far. I know that its only been 18 days but I am so looking forward for my life to settle down. I had grand plans of meal prepping every meal and working out and going to yoga regularly. And then I got sick. Since then I've been struggling with a sinus infection while my dogs are itchy and irritated from pesky allergies and annoying vet visits. While I have had some really awesome training session and absolutely loving teaching yoga, I've also had some silly car mishaps as well as distance from close friends and long nights that led to mornings of regret. My boyfriend is selling the home we're in, requiring all sorts of cleaning, and projects filling up free time and now we get to begin the process of finding a new place to live, packing, moving and finally settling in. While I know that every experience is an assignment, I'd like to take a break and just chill for a bit. Can you help me out with that Universe?

Today I came upon this quote by Deepak Chopra:

"Knowing that you co-create your reality is powerful information. It means that you can relinquish the idea that your life is rigidly predetermined and open up to the possibility that whatever has transpired thus far, you have the capacity to create something new. This shift in awareness is the first step toward manifesting your deepest desires for happiness, health, and love.

Once you recognize the possibilities of creating a new reality, it becomes your opportunity and responsibility to envision what it is you'd like to create. Despite the script you've been reading up until this point, you have the capacity to begin writing new dialogues. Assuming authority for your life means accepting the role of author as well as the leading character in your story."

Now I've read this a few times before but this time I was meant to completely understand it. I don't have to just sit back and wait for the Universe to make things happen for me, I am responsible for my story. This came as great reminder that no matter where I am on my path to living my truest life, I can always make changes and turn down a different path. I am not stuck in the land of ups and downs. While they will always be there in some way, shape, or form I can rewrite my story to be filled with balance and self care. I will be continuing to turn my efforts inwards and neglect the outside stressors, instead of the other way around. Still hopeful for 2017.

The new year brings new things.

I'm a yoga teacher!! If you follow me on social media you will already know this, but just in case you don't, I'm a yoga teacher!! I am absolutely loving this new challenge. Even though I've been a personal trainer for over 10 years, guiding a group through a yoga session is a very different experience. As with most new and different experiences I am learning a lot and enjoying the hell out of each and every class. 

With the addition of yoga to my services I decided to make a little change to my business name. From here forward it is now Mint Condition Mind and Body. With this change I will also be changing up the intention of my site and my business. My aim is to touch more people. No, not in a creepy way, in a loving and inspiring way. Here are some things to look forward to in the near future:

• YouTube Channel Update - I will slowly be creating workouts, yoga and meditation sessions, meal prep ideas, and any other tidbits that might be helpful. I will also have a Private Channel for my Private Clients.
• Private Yoga - In addition to Private In-Home Personal Training I now offer Private In-Home Yoga for you and your friends and family. 
• Corporate Yoga - I am looking to help infuse local businesses with the stress reducing, muscle stretching, mind focusing benefits of yoga and meditation. I can tailor sessions to meet your employees physical and mental needs, leaving them refreshed and ready to tackle their work head on. 
• Special Event Yoga - Have a group event coming up that might need some fun yet relaxing energy? Lets plan a yoga session for your crew. Bridal Parties, Birthdays, Spa Day Events, Girls Weekends, Family Reunions.
• Health and Wellness Consulting - Have you always wanted a trainer but your schedule or budget won't allow it? Let me be your online accountability buddy. Together we will devise a workout and nutrition plan that is doable for you. Then we will check in through video chat and email throughout your week to ensure you stay on track. 

More information on all of these services will be on the site soon, until then email me if you are interested: jenmckinn@gmail.com.

I read somewhere recently that 2016 was the year of cleaning house and that 2017 would be the year that we redecorate. I am loving this analogy and so ready to redecorate my world with a little more love, health and wellness. Namaste :)

You Cannot Hack Health and Wellness.

I have seen numerous articles with some sort of "10 Simple Weight Loss Hacks" type of title. While these articles usually have great tips that will in fact contribute to weight loss, the term hack does not sit well with me. These articles fall in line with any sort of "Lose Weight Fast" or even worse "Lose 30 lbs in 30 Days" type articles and I have had enough.

First off, it is unhealthy to lose weight really fast because in order to do so you have to go to extremes, both in your calorie intake and in your exercise intensity and duration. Even further, these extreme measures are not able to be maintained long term, resulting in very short term weight loss (most of which is water and muscle loss). Who the hell wants to do all of that work for such a short pay off?? I know who, individuals that have bought into the instant gratification nonsensical bullshit that our society has pushed on everyone. From weight loss to get rich quick schemes, everyone is looking for the short cut, the magic pill, the fat sucking wrap or machine, the money back guarantee for their happiness. 

When it comes to losing weight there is a way to use magic to your advantage. When you decide that you are going to make changes in order to lose weight and feel better about yourself, you discover other wonderful changes that start to happen in your life. Even more, when you decide to approach your weight loss goals with love and kindness, aiming to make your life richer and more fulfilling, magical things start to happen. You start to try new things, new foods, new forms of activity. You start to feel more comfortable in your own skin, glowing with confidence and smiling from the inside out. You start to have more energy and less sickness, enabling you to experience more things. You start to meet new people that share this love of choosing fun and rejuvenating activities over ones that simply involve eating and drinking. Most of all you start to develop a serious sense of self-love that opens the door to a new and wonderful way of living life. If you use these new experiences as your daily dose of inspiration, your weight will start to disappear, like magic.

 

When You're Forced to Slow Down

We set goals, we plan ahead to make sure we reach those goals and then something happens that forces us to slow down. A car accident, an injury, a major life or relationship change, or an ill family member. All of these are very serious things that deserve some undivided attention but also things that can derail your fitness journey, among other types of journeys. 

As I've said before, personal trainers are not immune to this derailment and while my only current fitness goal is do a cartwheel on my birthday for the rest of my life, I experience situations that keep me from moving forward in life on the regular. I was recently instructed by my doctor to do very limited exercise for the past two weeks due to some pesky migraine issues I have been suffering. At first I did the standard reaction of pitching a fit and complaining that my doctor didn't seem understand what yoga was and that telling people that exercise is the problem for health issues was completely ass backwards and the problem with our societal health issues. However... after the full two weeks I am of course able to reflect and more clearly see the big picture. 

While I am still having some of the same pains as before, I have had significantly less migraine issues. And while the two week break didn't solve the problem it did open my eyes to the ever so obvious realization that I am not in control. There is a bigger plan for me and my life and the path that I deem as the most beneficial and efficient may not be the path I am suppose to take. Maybe I am meant to learn something very valuable along my detour. Maybe I am suppose to trust that I have not left my original path for good or that maybe the new path will take me to something even greater than where I was headed. I know to some this might sound a little too woo woo, but the main take away from my experience of being forced to slow down is that I am not in control.  

AS a result, I have been looking at this concept of control and found that I actually try to control lots of things in my life. I have always heard the term "Control Freak" and it never resinated with me, thinking "I am such a free spirit that actually needs more control in life, not less". I was wrong. After looking at daily actions and seeing control pop up in situations like how I like the house to be cleaned, the pups to be taken care of, my opinions of how others in my life should be doing things, I began to see it everywhere.

Then, I heard my yoga teacher explain that the need for control is simply a lack of trust, and that flipped everything for me. I do not want to live my life with a lack of trust. I do not want to take on the stress of what others do or don't do and of how they do it. When I find myself in a moment of wanting to take control, I have begun taking a moment to see where my lack of trust is stemming from in the situation. Most times it is rather silly and I can start to move past the need. I am announcing to the world that I trust that everything will get done, I trust that what is in store for me, good or bad, is what I need at the moment, I trust that those around me will also find this trust in their path and that we can all rest happy together in the end.

How to Reverse Aging

I was recently watching a Gabor Mate interview, where he discussed the concept of reversing aging. After discussing our current society's obsession of trying to look as young as possible and pointing out the extra stress and challenges that trying to look young places upon us, he said the most unexpected and amazing thing. He followed with his recommendation for reversing aging... let it go! By letting go of emotional baggage we revert back to a more child like version of ourselves. By letting go of expectations that we have created in our head, we find more room to laugh and play. By letting go of trying to keep up with the Jones' on social media, we tap into OUR true selves and not the versions we think we are supposed to be, which results in a lot less stress and a lot more joy. 

I challenge you to find one thing, big or small, that you will let go of over the next few days. Tell a friend or family member so that it feels real and then let that shit go! Inhale... and exhale. Notice if you find yourself with a little less pressure or pain and then do something that you use to love as a kid. Go for a bike ride, play hopscotch, pick up a hula hoop, shoot some hoops, watch your favorite movie from your childhood with your family, play dress up, dance like you're 8 years old and you don't yet care about your dance moves, anything. Just find some more space for fun and turn back the clock. Keep doing this over and over, and your soul won't look a day over 20.

The Concern for Looking Good

Along my recent self-care journey I have learned to notice when I am participating in acts of harm instead of love and kindness. This has become evident when I am driving in the car and someone makes an unsafe move that in my eyes is extremely selfish and just out-right rude. I notice unkind thoughts when I see people who may or may not look like they are going to the club while at the gym and hog equipment. I feel these icky and entitled feelings when I witness someone who has clearly not yet taken any time to grow and evolve out of their current self destructive states, yet continue to complain about there situation. The craziest thing about this is that I too have done all of these things many times. Well, maybe not so much the full make up and coordinated outfits for working out, but I have planned special socks or my favorite shirt when I have chosen to show up (and blow up) at CrossFit. #subucrossfit

The more and more I break down these acts of unkindness, the more and more noticeable they become, the most shocking of which is when I am unkind to myself. The most recent example of this was while I was at the gym working out. I was warming up on the treadmill planning my workout, and in my head I was saying things like "Well, since you had extra alcohol and junk foods over the holiday weekend, you need to move your fat ass and really get after it," and "Ugh, I feel so bloated and squishy, go faster!!!", and "Why the hell did you eat beer cheese?".  As I was saying these unkind things to myself, it dawned on me that I would never speak to any of my clients in this manner, so why did I think it was acceptable to do so to myself?

It all comes back to a little concept that I learned in yoga teacher training last month, the concern for looking good.  This doesn't specifically mean in a physical manner, although this is how I noticed it this particular time. What this concept really means is the fear of not living up to standards, the fear of not looking like a professional, the fear of looking stupid or clueless, the fear of messing up, the fear of not looking like I have my shit together 24/7. If you dial back most things that we do not enjoy or that we come at in an unkind way, you will probably find some sort of concern for looking good.

When it comes to my body and my body image, I have good body image. I have things that I wish I could have removed, lasered, plumped, hoisted, and smoothed but when I get hung up on these things I take a moment to appreciate the good. I am beyond grateful that my body shows up every morning and works hard for me everyday. I have now fostered a love of taking care of my body and making changes, sacrifices, and time to reward it for all of that hard work. So what's the big deal then? Why so unkind to myself?

Well, even though I know about this little concept, it doesn't mean that I don't still struggle with it, I will forever be a work in progress. My hang up is in comparing myself to the self imposed standards of being a personal trainer, standards that I automatically assume people are thinking when I'm in a bathing suit. I get caught in the same traps as others, wishing for different and stressing about being good enough. I beat myself up when I stray from my plan and I go overboard sometimes to "regain balance". The best part of this is that I now notice when it happens. I recognize the nastiness and I snap myself out of it rather quickly. By taking the time to check in and ask myself why I'm having particular thoughts I am able to get one step closer to preventing them from happening. I remind myself that we are all one, no one person better or worse than another, we are all equal as well as amazing in our own right. This might sound hookie and earthy-crunchy but I double dog dare you to start to look for unkind words, whether to yourself or others. Once you begin to see it you can change it.

"Experiencing our body through our ego's eyes will always kick up feelings of inadequacy and separateness."  - Gabby Bernstein