I didn’t know how numb I was.

Slowly, I am awakening. First, I was awakened to the destruction that alcohol was bringing me and that I was inviting in this destruction because I didn’t know how to love myself, only how to judge and to compare. I slowly began to feel my emotions, the emotions that alcohol had always help me numb. Then, I was awakened to the knowledge that everything in my life was created by my words and thoughts, which were anchored in all the beliefs I created and absorbed throughout my life. With those two huge pieces of information I began creating a life I didn’t want to run and numb from. I began making decisions from a place of love instead of fear. I began nurturing myself instead of waiting for someone to do it for me. I began finding outdated, fear based beliefs and reprogramming myself with new loving beliefs that felt right to ME. I began using my words to create action towards this new life, this life that deep down always I knew I had access to, but instead chose to listen to the words of others telling me what success should look like and what things would bring me happiness. 

Recently, I have begun to notice a different kind of awakening. The first layer felt cerebral, this new layer feels physical. I am connecting deeper to my gut and intuition. I am listening to my heart and emotions. I am literally feeling my body wake up as I release old habits and patterns and replace them with more love. This is because I am shedding the thoughts and words that keep my energy stuck. I use to think energy levels were all about the food you ate, the sleep you did or didn’t get and the amount of exercise you got. Now, I see that those actions will only get you so far while still swimming in stuck energy. As you free the energy that lives around you, you free the ability to feel this delightfully dazzling world we live in. 

Energy Field

Chakras are the spinning discs down the spine, our energetic spine. Energy flows all around us to help us feel our way through life. As this space clears so do all of our other senses (including the ones we weren’t taught in school - scientist believe we have more like 22-33 senses!!!).

My vision is more clear to the love and beauty all around. My hearing can isolate the soothing sound amongst the noise. My heart feels a buzzing sensation most of the time now. My emotions are not good our bad, they are simply guidance - you’re getting warmer, warmer… colder, colder. My body literally feels like its expanding, my energy is expanding into the space its always had but I could never reach due to fear and constant words of impossibility. As I free this space I realize just how numb I was to life’s true beauty. As my energy finds more freedom, my physical finds more freedom. As my energy opens more, my physical opens more and I can feel my way through this life Im creating. 

By releasing emotional baggage, getting curious about why you do things you do, paying attention to the words you say, and caring about how you feel, you start to lighten the load that lives on your mind, body and soul. Naturally, you feel less weighed down and you begin to harness your energy towards things that power you even more; your thoughts, your habits and rituals, your actions all align to move you closer to your dreams. This is not without the work, looking at our patterns and habits and taking 100% responsibility for them is not easy. Forgiving ourselves and others is not easy, but anything worth doing takes work. On the other side of this work is more love and freedom than you could ever imagine. I didn’t believe it until I felt it. Do the work. Notice the gentle shifts. Keep doing the work. Notice the bigger shifts. Keep doing the work. Keep doing the work. There is freedom on the other side.

Action steps to begin to clear your energy:

• Cleanse your energy in the Shower - Water is a great cleansing tool for energy. Let the water wash away stress or anything else that’s no longer serving you. Simply set that intention and wash it all away.

• Soak in an Epsom Salt Bath - Epsom Salt is another really powerful energy clearing tool. Combo that with water in a warm soak and you will feel like a champ after this! Go nuts, add candles and music to really knock it out of the park.

• Move your body - Shake it out, dance, stretch, walk, stand in mountain pose, do yoga, literally move the energy around and it will clear itself.

• Cleansing Breaths - Take a long, slow, deep breath in through the nose and slowly let it out the mouth. Take at least three breaths to clear tension and negativity. Do this early and often!

• Use Earths Energy to Clear - Play in the grass. Climb trees or mountains. Swim in the ocean. The earth is like a giant energetic source for us to use in any way we feel is needed. Feet in the earth brings clam grounding energy. A swim in the ocean releases and creates flow. Climbing to the tree tops or mountain tops can inspire action light us up from within.

• Express Your Emotions - Letting your thoughts and words flow out releases them. Journaling is a super simple way to do this but if you’re not into journaling, do this in another way - art, music, poems, speak the words into a recording device, talk to a counselor or therapist. Holding in the daily thoughts and letting them spin in place in our minds becomes overwhelming and pushes us to use outside sources to comfort and cope. Getting them out clears that space for more creativity, love, energy to flow.

• Reiki - This has been a game changer for me. Reiki is an extremely safe and gentle way of using your hands to help clear the stagnant energy in our chakras and fields. To fully grasp the understanding of reiki would be similar to grasping the understanding of how radios or electricity work. You don’t have to completely understand to benefit from them. Find a reiki practitioner and experiment with a session. This a simple practice that you can easily become attuned to and perform on yourself and your loved ones.

• Meditate - There are lots of guided energy clearing mediations. My favorite is to simply meditate on a bright white light flowing through my center and getting bigger and bigger, with the intention of that light clearing the energy around me. There is evidence that the mind doesn’t know the difference between really strong thought and reality. We can use our imagination to visualize chakra colors, roots being sent into the earth for support, hearts expanding to feel more love, whatever you need to change how we feel. Because our energy is affected by our thoughts so strongly, we can use this to our advantage.

What do you have to lose?

If you’re thinking that this is too woo-woo for you, too simple to be real, too crazy to actually work, I challenge you to play with some of these energy clearing techniques for the next few weeks - from now until 2020 and see if you notice a difference. None of these (expect maybe the reiki session) cost any money. None of these require proficiency or experience. None of these take too much time. These are free, energy changing (aka life changing) tools that you can use to create your best self and your best life.

Building a Healing Toolkit

I previously shared the epic growth I experienced this summer and in it I spoke about how I currently move through negative emotions. The following is a very brief introduction to some of the tools that have now become ritual and habit to help me feel my best and breakthrough old patterns and beliefs. I have many, many more like yoga, journaling, reiki, and guides/coaches, but these are simple practices that you can start to sprinkle into your days. Like most things that add value to our lives - eating healthy, moving our bodies, maintaining relationships - these practices take time to build and require regular maintenance to see the benefits they can bring. Start slow and have fun exploring.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a practice that brings you back to the present moment. By tuning into your body, the urges and messages it is sending, and the sensations it experiences through sight, sound, taste, and touch you are lured into the moment. Much of our struggles with anxiety, fear, and depression are due to a disconnection between our minds and our bodies. We are busy thinking and most often stressing over things that lead to a complete neglect of our body, what it is feeling and encountering. We’ve all driven our cars and noticed that we zoned out for miles, we left our body to do the work and wandered into an often stressful place in our minds, allowing ourselves to be distracted by stress. This separation between mind and body leaves us feeling dissatisfied, it means we aren’t present to our lives, instead life is flying right by.

When we bring mindfulness into our daily lives we begin moving from a place where mind and body are connected, resulting in more satisfying experiences. It only takes one moment of mindfulness for our mind, body and soul to become united in a moment of peace. These moments help us to feel connected and safe, hopeful and appreciative, instead of disconnected and lost.

How to:

• Notice all of your senses while doing routine activities:

  • Driving

  • Eating

  • Showering

  • Cleaning

• Use your non dominant hand for simple tasks to witness how strong our unconscious habits are, you usually don’t have to think about using your dominant hand to brush your teeth. This reminds us how difficult it can be to change without awareness and practice.

• Play Eye Spy throughout your day to notice something simple like a certain color or trees. Or you can look for examples of love, joy, or fun being experienced by others throughout your day. Being mindful of simple things brings awareness to how easy it is to overlook what’s right in front of us.

• Take a closer look at your food. Notice all of the attention, care and effort that was taken to get the food to your plate. This brings gratitude into our meals. It can also bring awareness to the food choices that we make, noticing when meals are filled with so many loving people and actions and when they are just looking to sell us something.

Somatic Awareness

Somatic awareness takes mindfulness to the next level, going deeper to observe and explore ourselves through sensation and movement. Simply put, somatic awareness is learning to feel your body and interpret its sensations to provide the body with what it needs. The biggest benefit for me in this area has been learning to identify my emotions, noticing how an emotion feels in my body and then doing my best to name the emotion. Is this fear or worry? Is this guilt or unworthiness? Is this overwhelm or frustration?

Most of us were never taught how to identify our emotions. We were told that a smiley face means we’re happy and frown face means we’re sad. We were never taught what they feel like and in turn how to move through them. This awareness gives us the power to witness an emotion and then create what we need to move forward. Finding forgiveness if we’re experiencing guilt. Lightening the load if its overwhelm we’re experiencing. Leaving them unnoticed, or pushing them away because they are uncomfortable, bottles them up, forcing the body to speak louder (stronger emotions) or even scream at us with painful sensations or dis-ease.

How to:

• Notice all of your senses while moving your body:

  • Walking, running, gardening, exercising, etc.

• Name your emotions. - Anytime you have a strong emotion “good” or “bad”, begin playing with giving it a name. Is it fear? Anger? Worry? Happiness? Joy? Hopefulness? Use an emotional scale like this one to help.

• Feel your emotions. - Get into a relaxed state (bath, beach, nature, post movement) and begin to explore what certain emotions feel like in your body. Conjure a thought or memory that makes you feel happy and notice where this show up in your body and what the sensation feels like. Play with all sorts of emotions, even the “negative” ones when you are in a safe place. I like to start with things like fear, worry, unworthiness and then move into love, happiness, and joy so that I end on a high note.

• Create an emotions handbook. Combine journaling with any of these other activities, noting what emotions feel like and any other notes, including what balances these emotions.

Meditation

Meditation is the act of stepping out of the busyness of the mind and instead bringing the focus to something else, most often the breath. This is the tool with the biggest bang for your buck, but for many it can be difficult to find a regular practice. Meditation is not the act of thinking nothing, its the act of not attaching or following our thoughts, instead letting them come and then letting them go. Eventually, this skill gets stronger and the detachment is easier to find and maintain. Often however, my mind is rather busy and its tough to find this feeling of release, so on those days my practice is to simply sit with my eyes closed until my timer goes off. Practicing first thing in the morning can be helpful for some as well as in nature or after movement.

Start slow and build, maybe starting with 5 minutes and building to 20 minutes. There are so many types of meditation - mindfulness, love and kindness, mantra, yoga, self inquiry, inner child, future self, past self, movement, and many more - but the foundation for most of them is finding that gentle state of release. Guided meditations are helpful when the mind is really active (search YouTube, or use an app like Headspace or Calm).

Meditation benefits can be found anytime the mind shifts out of the chaos of wild thoughts and into a relaxed, often in the body, state. This can be found while doing the dishes or taking a shower, during flowing activities like paddling or yoga. My favorite way to meditate currently is through sound. I love to find a sound that is strong enough to hold my attention, but subtle enough that it doesn’t trigger new thoughts. Noises like crickets, the ocean, a fan, an air conditioner, or the humming of your refrigerator are great options to begin playing with.

Self Care

Self care was the first healing tool that I truly embraced and it saved my life. It showed me just how little care I was actually taking care of myself. Sure, I was going to the gym and eating my vegetables, but I was also using alcohol, food, men, shopping and Netflix to avoid any discomfort that I found in my everyday life. Self care allowed me to nurture myself into feeling better, without the negative ramifications that usually showed up after using one of those old tools to “relax” or feel better.

It can seem selfish to spend time on yourself when work needs to be done, others need to cared for, others need much more that you do, and when there is so little time left for ourselves, BUT you may have already experienced the wall that we can hit when we neglect our own health - mind, body and soul. Spending time on your wellness shows that you care about how you feel. It shows others that you are a priority and that they can do the same. Self care is an act of service to all. Even more, this self care practice blossoms into the most amazing self love :)

How to:

• Create a self care tool kit.

• Self Care Challenge

• Self Love is Not. Luxury.

As always this is your practice. Keep what works and leave what doesn’t, but do give something a solid try. These practices are cumulative in nature, so you gain the benefits after you’ve built some momentum. I’m a fan of 14 or 30 day challenges to really get the feel for what a tool can do for you.

Simple Steps Towards More Meal Prep

Often when we embark on a new fitness routine we dive into the deep end and then wonder why can’t continue, feeling like we are simply treading water instead of swimming strong. This is often the case when it comes to meal prepping - it’s all or nothing. Either we prepare every meal in advance or we abandon ship and eat out all week. We will be on a roll and then hit a slump. This is OKAY! This is called learning.

Every time you commit to making healthy meals a little easier for yourself you are learning. You are learning which recipes are too complicated and won’t be revisited. You are learning that you need at least a lunch prepped each day. You are learning which foods are still good a few days after prepping. You are learning how to care for your body.

Here are some tips that I have pulled from a client email I created to help her move closer to eating healthy meals with more ease. If you are trying to change your body, you will have to change the way you eat, you will have to play a proactive role in providing your body what it needs. When we wing it in the nutrition department we don’t always end up making the best choices. By taking a few minutes each week to get a little game plan together we can stick to the plan and gain better results. Consistency becomes a more reasonable expectation.

Three Simple Steps

Towards More Meal Prep

• Step #1 - Go to the grocery store once a week.

  Saturday or Sunday are typically best because we have more time. Create a list to work from (after a while you will have a fairly standard list of staples that you know you consume each week). Check in your fridge, freezer and pantry to see what you have to start with. Use those items to spur inspiration for meals you can have and add the necessary items to make your lunches and or dinners to your list. **In the beginning I would hang my grocery receipt on the fridge to remind me that I already spent money on food.

• Step #2 - Keep it Super Simple.

  Decide on a go-to breakfast. Something so easy you could eat it every day. If you need to have two or three for variety that’s cool, but have a go-to simple breakfast always ready to go. I love a hearty piece of bread, toasted with almond butter and a banana. I never have to think about breakfast.

  Once you have mastered your go-to breakfast start searching for your go-to lunch and dinner recipes. These are recipes that are super simple (not a lot of ingredients) and YOU LOVE THEM! Don’t worry, you will try a handful of recipes that “don’t work” for some reason or another. No stress. Keep searching and trying new recipes until you find a good one!

  I like to prep some sort of salad or at least the ingredients for a salad AND a warm, protein filled dish that can be reheated throughout my week. Here are some samples:

  • Salad Options:

    • Pre cut salad veggies to add to mixed greens. Make a simple oil and vinegar dressing or your learn to make your favorite salad dressing.

    • Think outside the. Box - use broccoli, potatoes, squash, and chickpeas as the base - HERE ARE SOME EXAMPLES - You can also Google or search Gut Health Salads on Pinterest for more ideas.

    • Just prep the components and then throw them together in any way that you want in the moment. Prep 1 or 2 sweet potatoes and some roasted chickpeas and then add some shredded cabbage, avocado, some spinach and a healthy dressing for the same ingredients turned into a different dish. BUDDHA BOWL RECIPE

  • Warm Protein Filled Options:

    • Prep Baked or Grilled Chicken and Veggies. If you cook them all at once, even all on one pan in the oven you can eat the left overs all week - You can use these ingredients to add to or create a different “Buddha Bowl”. Add some brown rice and avocado and call it a day. These have been called Sheet Pan Dinners - Pick ones with fewer ingredients and minimize the number of dishes you use to make this meal prep a breeze. 

    • Make a casserole, soup or stew. Reheat a portion each evening for a yummy healthy meal in minutes. HERE ARE SOME GUT HEALTHY SOUPS

• Step #3 - Plan for challenges and treat yourself.

  Just like you will start to find your go-to recipes to make each week, search for healthy on-the-go options for when life throws you a curve ball.

  Balance all this planned eating with meals out on Friday nights or when ever you’ve eaten all your prepped foods. I like to go out or order in on Friday nights. I then eat any remaining meal prep during the day Saturday, eat remaining take out, go out with friends or make a new recipe on Saturday nights. I love to go out for breakfast on Sunday mornings and then go grocery shopping on Sunday - starting the whole process again. I even treat myself to the Whole Foods Hot Bar for lunch on Sundays as a treat for going grocery shopping.

Just like anything new, this process may seem overwhelming at first but becomes easier and easier the more you do it. The whole process (creating a list, shopping and maybe spending an hour prepping) can happen in less than 3 hours. I can now make it happen in an hour if I need to. If you can’t find the time, do an assessment of how you spend your time and decide if there is somewhere where you can cut back so that you can spend this time on creating your healthiest self.

Simple Steps Towards Self-Love

Stress is slowly killing us. Stress is what’s affecting your diet and fueling unhealthy decisions. Stress is what’s taxing our systems and therefore leaving us running in emergency mode (picture flames and fumes and weird rattles coming from the engine) pushing us towards food, alcohol and other drugs, Netflix, shopping, gambling, and many other ways in which we waste our resources.

I have found that when I peel back the layers and recognize where my stress usually stems from, it is often a self imposed stress. In other words, I am doing this to MYSELF!! Now, I do not beat myself up for this (thats not very loving) as I now understand that I was sold an idea of what success was suppose to look like and then set off to be a “success”. When life didn’t end up looking like that idea I came to the conclusion that I must be unsuccessful, the opposite of a success, a failure. I was not living a life that demonstrated love to myself at all. I wasn’t even listening to myself. I was treating myself like the waiter that keeps babbling about the specials when I’m ready to order, “yeah, yeah, spinach dip and chocolate lava cake please.”

When I started deciding to create a life that I didn’t need to run from, numb from, or avoid, I started to see that I was unhappy because I wasn’t making my decisions. This seems so simple but I didn’t even notice that I had no clue how to dream up a dream life, I had no clue what I wanted or what would make me truly happy. Letting go of these pressures lightened my load significantly, reducing the silly stressors I placed on myself because I needed to be doing more and or because I always found something else that I should be doing.

Along this journey I started to get to know myself. I learned more and more about myself trying to figure out what I truly valued and wanted, making it easier to feel comfortable in my own skin. This comfort led to me caring more about how I felt and what I spent my time thinking and doing. This care led to a connection with myself that allowed me to trust myself, support myself, forgive myself, and ultimately fall in love with myself. I created a ride-or-die relationship with myself, knowing that I have love and compassion for myself, no matter what.

If this seems foreign do not worry, it was to me too. Below are some steps to start the process.

Steps towards more self-love:

You do not need to perfect one step before moving onto the next. You will be building a constant flow of awareness that you can use to feel good the rest of your life.

1. Notice to your emotions. - They are your guide.

   1. Notice when you feel negative/less than emotions when you think about what others will think of you or a decision. This is you stressing about others. This is you allowing the pressure to be applied.

   2. Notice when you feel good/satisfied/greater than! Start doing more of these things. This is how you will find what lights you up.

2. Notice your self talk. - Our self talk is simply a running dialogue of affirmations. You can use these words to brainwash yourself into thinking you suck or you can use these words to create a crazy awesome relationship with yourself. One where you are your biggest supporter and therefore safe. Safe = less stress. Less stress = feel better. Feel better = create a happier life.

3. Pump the self-care. - Just like self talk creates your mental status, self-care creates your physical status. When you don’t feel good, you don’t want to take the extra steps to make a healthier decision, you want immediate comfort or relief. But, even little acts of self-care can lighted your mood and keep you from sliding deeper into the low vibes. Start experimenting with things that make you feel good naturally. You should feel refreshed, relaxed and lighter or calmer. Doing these things shows yourself and others that your wellbeing is important and a priority.

4. Regularly remind yourself that you’re worthy of love. - When I first started this stuff I had just quit drinking and most moments of my life were uncomfortable. I had read something suggesting to look at yourself in the mirror, right into your eyes and tell yourself “I love you.” At this point I had tried so many things that this one seemed so simple and harmless that I gave it a try. Holy shit. As soon as those words flew out of my mouth I began to cry. I realized in that moment that being nice to myself was foreign to me. This was not okay.

   I now use this technique to remind myself that I am loved, I am supported, I am love. When I brush my teeth or put on a face mask, I look myself in the eye and say something nice. I flirt with myself, winking when I catch my eye in the mirror, using cheesy lines to make myself giggle. I now have replaced the need for attention from another by giving myself the loving attention that I only got from my parents and ex-boyfriends in the past.

Remember that this is like any other loving relationship, it takes work, time, commitment and care. Be kind to yourself.

Jennifer's Journal: Ask Me Anything

For the past few months, I have spent Sunday mornings at one of my favorite coffee shops. There is a quiet nook that I love. It is a table at a window between two bookshelves filled with books, DVDs and games. There is enough action to keep me alert and working but enough solitude (with headphones) to really get some work done.

Before I dive into work I usually spend at least the first hour reading, journaling, writing, or watching a video while I eat a bagel and sip some coffee. Sometimes my journaling looks like one long flowing thought, just writing what comes to mind. Sometimes I ask myself specific questions. Lately, I’ve been taking screenshots of questions that I think would be good journaling questions, from horoscopes, blogs/articles, books, or questions others have shared from their journaling sessions.

Below is straight from my journaling session 4/7/19:

What can I let go of?

Fear. I know I will always be working to notice fear and instead move closer to love. I would like to lean into more trust. How can I do this? Keep stoking the mediation and chakra fire. Keep doing what you are doing. Continue choosing to cook and clean instead of lounge on the couch for another hour. Continue to care for your space and for Coconut. Continue to show up for your clients, that’s really all they need from you - every thing else is extra. 

The future is always going to be unknown, so fearing the future will result in an awful way to live. 

If anything were possible, how would this go?

I would understand that my goal isn’t to make sales and get likes or to even get clients, my goal is to share my knowledge and my story, THAT is your purpose on this earth. It is my gift and responsibility to share what I’ve learned. My knowledge and voice will not be needed by everyone, but it will benefit MANY.

With this understanding I would create and then share, create and then share, create and then share. This process will gain experience creating and will lead you to what people need. Analytics will be helpful, but you can’t track what never gets shared. You cannot learn by hiding behind insecurities. You have everything you need.

Top priorities from now til October 13th Full Moon

1. Meditation - 15 minutes a day

2. Chakra Balancing - 5-10 minutes before bed

3. Meal Prep - Continue setting yourself up for less stress around food.

4. Walks with Coco - Daily and without electronics.

5. Clients - Show up and listen, continue to give them what they need in the moment. 

6. Foundational Fitness Content - Create for fun and from the soul.

7. YouTube Content - Beginner yoga series. 

What fundamental needs do your relationships require to thrive?

• Honesty - Honesty with self and others allows for more vulnerability and therefore more connection.

• Support - This stems from trust.

• Love - Love that compliments. No longer looking for love that completes me.

• Self Care - Fill your cup first, then share the overflow with others.

• Communication - Clearly expressing myself will allow for a closer connection.

This is simply a source of inspiration to give you ideas on how to use journaling to help you get closer to yourself and therefore, closer to your healthiest, happiest life.

Yoga For Everyone

As a yoga teacher I of course talk to a lot of people about yoga. I love hearing all about someone’s life changing yoga moment or about how they can’t imagine life without it now, but I am always way more interested in the conversations about why someone can’t/hasn’t yet tried yoga. You see, as a yoga teacher my goal is to introduce yoga to as many people as possible, in a manner that leaves them wanting more yoga. I have no current aspirations to teach people to put their legs behind their head and yet, that’s what most people feel is required to attend a yoga class. This is not the goal in most yoga classes but knowing what yoga works best for you will greatly improve your chances of building a practice. 

Yoga is one of the oldest forms of exercise and is accessible to anyone that is interested. There are forms of yoga that build total body strength, with a powerful and sweat inducing practice. These types of yoga are great for challenging the body to get stronger in every sense of the word. On the other end of the spectrum there are practices designed specifically for restoration with gentle poses, lots of props like chairs, blocks and pillows to achieve comfort in the pose, and even built-in meditation. These classes leave you feeling rested and rejuvenated. 

No matter what type of yoga you do, all yoga will benefit your health and well-being. By increasing flexibility and maintaining range of motion and posture, yoga simply lets you do all the things you love to do now, longer! Yoga helps you play tennis till you're 80, it allows you to go see amazing places and do amazing things and yoga even helps to strengthen your mind as you age, so you’ll crush your family on game night for years to come.

So where do you start?

I always recommend starting with a restorative practice first. This will prime the body for the more active yoga poses and will familiarize your self with some basic yoga poses. This will also allow you the chance to get to know your teachers and then use their guidance to build your practice to fit your bodies needs. These classes have multiple names such as restorative yoga, yin yoga, adaptive yoga, chair yoga, deep healing yoga, again your teacher will be able to guide you to a class with restorative intentions. 

Once your body finds a little more space and comfort in the restorative poses, check out a class with a little more flow. Sometimes called slow flow, flow and stretch, cool flow, or vinyasa flow, these classes teach the flow of breath and body together, moving throughout a range of motion with synchronized breaths.

From here you can venture into the more advanced practices if they fit your goals. When your body is ready, hydrate, eat a healthy snack and then go check out that power yoga, hot power or advanced yoga flow. These classes are a great way to shift your energy, building strength and stamina, on and off your yoga mat.

As always, listen to your body, not your mind when it comes to progressing your yoga. If you ignore the signs your body is giving you, you become susceptible to injury. If you’re not quite sure how to listen to your body, don’t worry… yoga teaches you this. Keep coming back to your yoga mat to spend time with your body and you will be communicating freely with your body.

Yoga Flows for All Levels

Jennifer's Journal: Bliss or Bust

I’ve missed my blog. I first started a blog in 2011 because I was drawn to the storytelling of it all AND I was really into Julie & Julia :) But so quickly life starts to become about numbers, data, and efficiency and the lovely stuff gets left off the to-do list. I have yet again realized how shitty life gets when we let the lovely things go. For me lovely things that I tend to let go of are: yoga classes, hammock hangs, writing, cooking, all things that make my life so much more enjoyable in the day to day. So, below you will find writing inspired by a recent journaling session.

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As I flip through a cookbook this afternoon I see a recipe that requires the use of dry white wine. My first instinct was to flip the page, insinuating that I’d just never cook with wine again. But then I thought about how much flavor wine adds to food (however, on reflection this is a false belief I uncovered around alcohol. There are many other ways to add flavor to cooking.) Then I thought of how gross “cooking” wine is, which led me to imagining there was a bottle of white wine in my fridge. Yikes. *I quit drinking two years ago.

That gut punching emotion instantly came over me but this time I did something new. The moment I felt that yuck in my gut, I noticed how intense it came on and how strong it showed up in my body and instead of running away, I took about three or four steps and then paused. This pause wasn’t new. I’ve been noticing my ability to pause and walk myself through crappy self-talk. What was new, was that after I paused, I decided to go back and sit in that emotion. What?? Why would I willingly let that emotion wash over me? I have done this sort of work while being guided by a coach or therapist but not so quickly or ever with any motivation to go back.

I put down the Barefoot Contessa Family Style Cookbook and paused The Great British Baking Show (I’m searching for a cake to make myself for my birthday). I closed my eyes and imagined that a good bottle of white wine (my old nemesis) was sitting in my fridge, and there it came. The heavy meets queasy feeling in my belly that to me feels like fear. Fear of what my answer would be, fear of whether I’d turn down the opportunity to numb out. Yet, it was a mixed batch of fear. I decided to sit in this particular brand of fear and I decided to get to know it, to see if I could put a better name on it. I ultimately landed on FOMO. Yep, that stinkin fear-of-missing-out. Watching so many people drink, not just in my life but in so many areas of our culture, I am constantly being told that I am missing out on something, something that all those other people do. I know that I am missing out on that chance to numb from the stressors of life. If I can’t, it must mean I am abnormal, something must be wrong with me.

Thank goodness, I now see things differently. I now see alcohol as any other drug. Because of all the images of alcohol being injected into my life, plus a bloodline with lots of drinking practice, I never saw it as a drug. However, this socially encouraged drug is “a leading risk factor for disease burden worldwide”.

In a flash I redirected my thoughts from fear (as I’ve been practicing) and reminded myself that nothing outside myself will ever make me happy, therefore it’s okay that wine isn’t in my life. It would have never been able to make me happy. That heavy and queasy feeling started to lighten. By getting to know that emotion and witnessing my thoughts I walked myself to a lighter place.

I now aim for bliss. I hope I don’t lose you here, but I now spend so much time and effort on making myself self feel good - mind, body, and emotions, that when I string together activities that make me feel good, I begin to feel a sense of release, a sense of calm. When this bliss is added to successive days of meditation there is no need to numb. This experience created a new mantra for me to use, bliss or bust.

Food Pyramid Revamp

As individual humans, we will all have individual dietary needs. Add in specific goals and it really starts to vary from human to human. There are however a few things that will help all humans to feel better. Below is my revamped version of the food pyramid. Take a peak and then let me walk you through each level.

First off this pyramid was designed to represent your daily intake of food. Each time you build a meal, build from the bottom up. As you work your way up the pyramid, the quantities decrease.

Hydration

The base of all nutrition and foundational for feeling good is hydration. Dehydration contributes to fatigue, foggy-headedness, headaches, and body cramps. All of these will make things more challenging when trying to live a healthier life. Tips for drinking more water:

• Invest in a water-only container to travel with you always.

• Invest in a home water filtration system.

• Start with a glass first thing in the morning.

• Add lemons, limes, oranges, berries (frozen fruit works too).

• Every time you sit down at a bar or restaurant order a water and drink it.

• Get your water in early so you don’t wake up 10 times to pee each night.

Vegetables

The next layer of all healthy diets is vegetables. Despite what type of nutritional plan you are aiming to achieve, vegetables should make up the majority of your plate. They are filling and low in calories making them perfect for finding a healthy balance. They also make your skin look amazing and give you energy to move through your day, workout included! Green vegetables get bonus points as they have more actual electricity in them, which is why they help power your body so well. Tips for eating more veggies:

• Roast a bunch of seasonal veggies and add to meals throughout your week.

• Keep a bag of kale on hand to make quick salads and to add to soups and smoothies.

• Keep frozen peas, edamame, and veggie mixes on hand to add to meals quickly.

• Eat something green with every meal!

• Find dips and spreads to dip them in for healthy snacking.

Protein

Next up is protein. The amount of protein will depend on your size and goals. Protein helps to build lean muscle, which boosts your metabolism naturally. Shooting for 20-30g of lean protein per meal will get you a good start on hitting your protein goals. Tips to upping your protein intake:

• Before you stress too much about how much to eat, find out how much you’re consuming right now. The best way to do this is to track your food for a few days to decipher your starting point. Apps like Loseit or LifeSum work great.

• Familiarize yourself with high protein foods that meet your requirements (vegetarian, vegan, paleo). Lean meats, fish, eggs, cottage cheese, yogurt, oats, tofu, beans and veggies all provide decent amounts of protein.

• Combine protein filled foods together to up the amount in each meal.

• Invest in a high quality protein powder to supplement when needed. You can add this to smoothies, healthy baked goods, and more. Make sure the powder is a decent quality by checking out the ingredients list… the less ingredients the better. Also, ease into a new powder as these can trigger stomach issues in some.

Fruit

Fruit shares the same row on the pyramid as proteins because once you’ve filled your plate with veggies and protein, fruits can be a lovely way to add flavor, fiber and nutrients to your meals. They are naturally higher in sugar than veggies so start with the veggies and then sprinkle in some fruit to curb sweet cravings and fill you up with vitamins and minerals! Tips for eating more fruit:

• Add a piece to your breakfast - frozen fruit works great here too!

• Keep fruit handy for snacks - bananas and apples are my go to.

• Try something fruity instead of sugary for treats.

• Add some to your salads.

• Eat with the seasons to keep it fresh and interesting.

• Familiarize yourself with fruits with lower sugar (carb) levels to help you reach your goals - I love this article for that!

Fats

Healthy fats make you feel full and help you to burn body fat. The same way that heavy greasy food is filling, healthy fats allow you to feel satiated without all the grease and calories in a slice of pizza. Most people do not consume enough of these while trying to eat healthy and therefore, end up feeling hungry and that’s no fun. **Beware of the quantity! They are up high on the pyramid because they are high in calories, meaning you need less of them to get the benefits. Tips for increasing healthy fats:

• Add avocado to everything!! Sandwiches, salads, smoothies, toast, rice bowls, get crazy.

• Add nuts and seeds to salads and homemade dressings or pestos.

• Keep a bag of nuts on hand for a quick pick me up snack. **Monitor portions.

• Use chia seeds, flax seed, olives and olive oils.

Grains and Dairy

Grains and dairy are good IF your body can tolerate these foods. It is not a given that each human can eat these foods. Our bodies were not originally designed to eat processed grains or dairy everyday so it is rather normal to need to limit or eliminate these foods from your diet. If you have regular stomach troubles I’d recommend reducing these foods from your meals to seeing how you feel. Most of these foods are to be eaten in smaller quantities and less frequently for optimal health.

• Try different kinds of grains - oats, quinoa, brown rice.

• Eat full fat dairy, just less of it. - Eating small quantities of full fat dairy will help you increase your healthy fats and be more filling than that zero calorie yogurt filled with empty calories and sugar.

• Try nut milk, coconut milk, oat milk and other substitutes when needed. **I like almond milk for baking or cooking, coconut milk for adding creaminess to soups, smoothies, battering fish or tofu & making whip cream. I really love oat milk (this brand specifically) for my morning coffee.

“Fun” Foods

At the tippy top of this pyramid is the “Fun” foods. I personally think all food is fun if you really start to play and get creative with flavors and recipes, but this category contains the foods you would typically eat during a holiday or at a party. These are foods that are treats. Be sure to treat these treats as TREATS, not as your fifth meal everyday. Indulge in these foods to curb cravings but also pay attention to how these foods make you feel. There are other ways to celebrate so keep that in mind when faced with a room full of treats :) Tips for consuming fun foods:

• Indulge in small quantities and eat it slow. Savor and indulge slowly.

• Invite a friend to indulge so you can split something.

• Make homemade versions of your favorite treats (preferably with the best ingredients you can find/afford).

• Don’t keep binge worthy foods in the house, make a special trip/date to indulge wisely.

• Take a pause before you consume. Ask your body if it even wants it. Make a tea, a drink a glass of water, or take a walk first, then see what the craving is telling you.

Last words…

No matter what your eating plan or intention is (high carb, vegan, keto, paleo, low carb, see-food diet, lol), all plans will need your body to stay hydrated in order to get results. Vegetables, healthy amounts of grains and protein, along with adequate healthy fats are all required to find the healthiest you. The only thing that changes is the is the percentages of these foods, based on your goals and your biology. Tracking your food is the easiest way to get results, but not required for every day life. If you are trying to create healthy food shifts you must know your starting point. Then you slowly tweak as you learn more and more about what YOUR body really needs to feel its best. Stay curious. Be kind. Be patient.

Journaling Prompts

Here is a list of some basic journaling prompts that you can use to begin unfolding any thoughts that get stuck up in that noggin of yours.

1. Find something to write in.

2. Pick whichever one jumps out at you and give it a whirl.

3. Do not censor your writing. Just let it flow out.

4. Shoot for a time limit and just keep writing until the time is up. 3-5 minutes is a good place to start. Doodle for the rest of the time if you have to :)

• If I weren't afraid I would...

• What's blocking me from...?

• What do I want most?

• Whats hard? How can I invite in more love?

• What do I desire from the next (time period; two weeks, 6 months)?

• In what areas are you unsatisfied?

• In what areas are you satisfied?

• What would my best self do today?

• How does my energy feel? What might help?

• How does my body feel? What might help?

• Do you need more structure/action/masculine?

• Do you need more flow/creativity/feminine?

• What needs to be healed?

• How can I show my body more love?

• Why do I want change?

Remember that journaling is a tool, one of many that should be in your all natural stress relief toolbox. It's okay if emotions arise during this process, as its just energy that needs to be let out. Often I feel completely relieved and often with more understanding of how to move forward. Journaling is a simple act of self care that can help you to navigate the tricky waters of your mind. Relax and just let it flow. 

Fighting Depression by Finding High Vibes

What do I mean by high vibes? That’s a good question. I like to simplify it by equating it to a natural high. When I am vibrating at a high level I am feeling naturally high and feeling good. I'm not going to dive into the science of the actual vibrations that occur in our bodies here, but when you are feeling good you are considered to be vibrating at a higher level than when you're not feeling so good (angry, scared, anxious, depressed, tired, sick, etc.). This is why one grumpy person can ruin the mood of a group, the lower vibes are messin' with the high vibe energy in the room. 

I have been on a serious learning path with depression for years. Never being officially diagnosed I had no clue what depression even was. Now, I am still learning but I at least have a basic understanding of it, I have a love for the process (even though I forget this love every time I'm in it), and I know that there will be many more chances to learn from this thing called depression.

While it is my goal to feel good as much as I possibly can, it's near impossible to ALWAYS feel good and I logically know this, but life doesn't pause simply because I am feeling down. When I get a little funky (low-vibey), I tend to forget that it is simply part of the process. I used to try and dig in, try to figure out what caused this "slide", feeling that if I could find the source I could somehow remove it and therefore remove the depression but I have since learned that there is no one source. I can be triggered by other low-vibe people or conversations, by low quality foods, and by low-vibe media, and by a general lack of self-care. So instead of trying to bring even more focus to this feeling that I no longer want, I have instead chosen to take it easy and sink into some self-love. 

As soon as I notice my low vibes I try to muster up some joy or simply find a way to play. Doing anything, big or small, that raises my vibes will help me to start making my way back. The more I practice this, the faster I am able to recognize the funky feelings, create new vibes, and return to love. This work has allowed me to move through depression in a way that I have never moved before. Below is my current framework for climbing out of a funk but know there is also work with professionals (spiritual, holistic, & health) being done too. 

Clues my vibes are lowering:

• Space is beginning to get cluttered (or is already a hot mess).

• Clothes and dishes are piling up. 

• Fridge is lacking healthy foods.

• Feeling exhausted, shitty sleep.

• Binges (sleep, Netflix, sugar, etc)

• Annoyed by others easily. 

• Negative Hamster Wheel - where my thoughts get stuck on the negative.

Instant high vibe activities:

• Meditation is the best activity there is to change your vibrations. Most of the time this actually neutralizes my thoughts, feelings, and vibrations allowing some peace. 

• Put on my orange Rainbow OPTX Sunglasses - color therapy :)

• Create Your Own Joy playlist + Dancing

• Make and eat a healthy meal.

• Play!! Swings, skateboards, cards, games, Coco, handstands. Just play!!

• Plan my next few days/work week/bullet journal.

• Clean my house.

• Take a walk.

• Get in water.

• Plants/feet in the dirt/sit in the sun.

• Yin Yoga

Activities to help maintain these vibes:

• Yoga/Exercise

• Meal prepping

• Bullet Journaling weekly/monthly intentions/goals/tasks.

• Nurturing Coco

• Regularly getting out into nature.

• Self Care/Sleep/Water

• Regular play dates with friends.

• Bring focus to the lower three chakras. 

• Be creative, somehow.

• Self Love - Remembering that I am perfect and I am love. 

Remember, that this is my personal experience. I am at this point after almost two years of diligently working to understand these emotions. I have done some work to get here and had lots of help along the way. If you take anything from this, I hope you know that you are not alone and that many have successfully found peace and joy right along side depression. Again, I will use the reminder of the moon to help explain how absolutely normal this is... 

"The moon is a reminder that no matter what phase I am in, I am still whole." - unknown source